The Thrift Book by India Knight & Spend Less

Author:India Knight & Spend Less
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780141903293
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2008-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

Hen and Stag Parties – a Plea

Quick detour … I’ve observed, over the past few years, that people’s hen and stag parties are getting more and more elaborate, and more and more expensive. It’s gone beyond a joke: it is now not that unusual to be expected to take a week off work, book flights and accommodation, find some spending money and an appropriate wardrobe, and go hotfooting it to somewhere nobody can really afford to go to, either time- or money-wise, there to joyously celebrate the forthcoming nuptials.

Um … can I just say? Your friends are glad for you, but they’re not that glad.

Here’s the deal: it is completely socially unacceptable behaviour for the bride- or groom-to-be to make this kind of demand. It’s too big an ask. The whole thing is really embarrassing and awkward for your poor friends, who want to celebrate with you and so do somehow find the time off/money/childcare, but who secretly resent you for having forced them into it. Despite what they might be saying to your face, they’ve probably had a good moan behind your back.

I can’t say I blame them. Asking people to go on these protracted hen/stag events is the most tiresome imposition. There is only one circumstance where it is permissible (sorry to sound like an etiquette guide, but I think a little etiquette lesson is required). This is if you can afford, either through circumstance or through giant saving up, to pay for each and every one of your guests. You want to take ten girlfriends on a spa holiday at your own expense? Go right ahead. Can’t afford it? Too bad – Im afraid it’s the pub and the comedy breasts and L-plates for you.∗ At least it is if you’re completely unimaginative.

With a little forethought, though, it is perfectly possible to organize a fun evening out without breaking the bank. The clue is in the word ‘evening’, which isn’t the same as ‘weekend’ or ‘week’.

At the very least, please always consult with your hen/stag party first, rather than presenting them with a fait accompli. Not everyone likes spas, or white-water rafting, or hiring a massive country mansion for the weekend and lolling about pretending to be debutantes (quite a weird one, that, and increasingly popular), and if you’re expecting people to pay for the privilege, it is basic good manners to run the idea past them first.

This, incidentally – the difficulty of finding one thing that everyone likes doing – is why the traditional take on hen/stag parties came into being. Not to put too fine a point on it, everyone likes having a drink and most people can afford an evening of this kind. I say, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. And if you’re too old to run around getting legless all over town, have a nice dinner instead.

This plea, incidentally, applies to all OTT celebrations in general. It is not cool to invite people to your thirtieth, or fortieth, or fiftieth, and expect them – surprise! – to pay for the privilege because you’re so incredibly special.

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